A couple of years ago while conversing with my mum, I had a sudden realisation about myself. I’m not particularly good at ‘asking for things’ and I mostly do not have expectations of ‘receiving things’ either. I can say honestly, however, that I am a giver and that is perhaps the reason it took me a while to come to that understanding about myself. As any true giver knows, there’s a sense of joy that comes from giving. You don’t have to be forced and hardly ever need to be coerced, it comes naturally.. and is often abused.
There is currently a nasty trend (in my opinion) in Lagos that has permeated almost every kind of establishment I have been to; begging. I can’t speak for other places but I won’t be surprised to find that the same applies in other states. As a young Nigerian living in Lagos, I understand that things can be extremely difficult – trust me, I know. However, a lot of people have forgotten the place of hard work and many do not understand or appreciate what it means to ‘earn a living’. Many of us are not content and so feel that it’s alright to ask someone who is ‘better off’ for things we would never give out ourselves.
Oh, someone is thinking, why not? He/she makes a lot of money and can definitely spare some, right? After all, you know how much they rake in monthly..
Well, let us look at this briefly then shall we?
Profile of Mr Rich
Has 2 Children
6-figure income monthly
Rents a flat
Owns 2 cars
Parents are alive and live in the village
3 siblings..numerous relatives
Employs a driver and a maid
Has at least one club membership
Has 2 professional affiliate memberships
Trying to set up a business on the side…amongst other things.
I’m sure after Mr Rich is done settling his monthly bills, tithe and some unexpected expenses, he’ll be in a mighty fine mood to give handouts to people who ask because they think he can ‘afford’ to. Of course, most of these people are those he ‘blesses’ on a regular yet they become snide the one time he refuses to give. Don’t get me wrong, we all have people who we’re comfortable around and wouldn’t hesitate to ‘bless’ us; that’s fine sometimes, not always.
What is not fine is asking your boss ‘Oga, wetin dey for weekend?’ every Friday expecting him/her to dole out money without a second thought. He works and you work!
Expecting your ‘rich’ relative to pay your children’s school fees just because you asked. Na so, ba?
Asking your boss’s neighbour for bus fare..seriously?
Insulting someone for not giving you anything or giving ‘too little’ even though you know you would have done worse.. Karma.
Asking your Oga’s daughter for a phone the day after you met her.. yea, she was born yesterday.
Asking for a non-mandatory tip while at your job and delivering terrible service either way..right.
Calling or sending texts to your political representatives for PHCN bill payments, children’s fees, hospital bills, wedding support, data fees, JAMB form, mother’s funeral etc. Kilode? Was that part of the mandate? Do they know you personally? (So what?) And you expect quality representation.
Not doing your job efficiently until ‘money’ is given to ‘speed up’ the process..Ehen.
I can go on and on.
The minute you start to think things should be handed to you just because it’s available to someone else, you need an attitude check! Take responsibility for the fact that you’re in need. Frankly, it is your problem. Others may be inclined to but aren’t obligated to help you. What is yours will definitely come to you. If you want to wear expensive stuff and live large, by all means earn your way to the good life. When I hear people complain about others who are well off, in positions of power etc., all I think is this; I hope they get to such positions so they know how it feels, huh. Maybe, just maybe they will do better. Remember John 8:7?
Next time you point to and name corrupt, money laundering leaders, your stingy boss and your tight fisted relative, make sure you’re clean as a whistle. I heard an interesting statement at a conference I attended in January and it got me thinking, I certainly hope it does the same for you. The speaker said, ‘a man isn’t a thief because he steals, he steals because he is a thief’. The fact that you haven’t ‘begged’ doesn’t mean you’re not a beggar. It starts with your mindset! #Attitudecheck