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The Issue of the Ex!

EXI recently came a across a post online that got me thinking. It was about dating, in particular dating the ex of a friend. This apparently is taboo. Hmmm… Why though?
I understand that it’s obviously not pleasant in certain cases especially when you’re still in love (or like, like-like) or if there was physical and or verbal abuse during the course of the relationship.

Of course, there are several scenarios and reasons that can well show just how much of a bad idea it may be. The timing could be a factor, the level of closeness between friends, residual feelings of love and hate… Barring these though, what specifically makes it wrong? Almost everyone has an ex and not all relationships end on a bitter not or with hard feelings.  A lot of people have made mistakes in relationships as a result of immaturity and it’s not fair to hold them to it indefinitely, especially if they own up to it.

Let’s say you guys have been broken up for a couple of years, not on bad terms but not very friendly either. Then you find out that your friend has developed feelings for your ex (maybe they met somewhere…whatever the case), would you be very upset, especially if your friend chooses to act on those feelings? I have never experienced this, so as much as I may understand the sense of betrayal that often comes with dating a friend’s ex, I can not honestly relate to it. The way I see it, someone else is willing to take what you may have refused to (assuming your ex has not changed; this is relative) or put up with what you could not endure. It’s now their cross and they should bear it. Besides, they might be a good fit.

Are there really no circumstances under which it is alright to date the ex of a friend? Let me know what you think and share your experiences in the comments section 🙂 .

9 thoughts on “The Issue of the Ex!”
  1. Timz 29th October 2015 on 1:31 pm Reply

    i think it all come down to those involved. whoever u re dating now might be someone’s ex. if u ve moved on bygones should be bygones. its really not an ish and i think its all based on maturity on the part of those involved. what u dont like is what someone is craving for, might be a car, phone and even human(a friend or an ex). so if it happens to be a car, will u be angry ur friend got ur former car or ur former phone? huh!. we all need to wake up pls and act MATURE.

  2. Bimbo F 28th September 2015 on 5:57 pm Reply

    It should not be a big deal, to be honest, but (a lot of) Nigerians think it is a taboo and will even see you as evil because you’re dating your friend’s ex. There is trouble in the land. Lol. Nice post babe!

  3. adewole 13th August 2015 on 6:38 pm Reply

    Personally, i dont see anything wrong with it…there is a reason why they are called exs…simply put, they are not together again…for me, there is no basis for the rule…just my tots tho

  4. Ade 13th August 2015 on 11:09 am Reply

    I guess that’s the real question. So what if they know? The person is an ex, it should not matter if you have moved on and there was no form of abuse whatsoever when you were together.

  5. Jowho 13th August 2015 on 6:56 am Reply

    Yeah.. In a way we are all someones ex.. But then what if said friend knows he is your ex before dating/liking em?

    • O-pay 13th September 2015 on 7:24 pm Reply

      Personally, I think it is a taboo more common amongst us blacks. I have several Caucasian colleagues that date their friend’s ex boyfriends and it doesn’t appear to be a big deal. I think we need to be more open minded. If your friend has dated 10 guys in your neighborhood, that’s 10 less guys from your ‘dating pool’. As long as it is not your ‘best friend’s’ ex, it will be too awkward if you date your best friend’s ex and he ends up proposing then your best friend ends up as your maid of honor standing next to her ex aka your new hubby at the altar Lol! Other than that, general friends and acquaintances’s ex should be free game, if not there will be a lot of single ladies out there.

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