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Would You tell on a Cheater?

Would You tell on a Cheater? - Morolawun Akinsola

I’m sure that a lot of people, like me, have wondered at some point why people cheat. And I do not mean cheating in tests but on people with whom they’re having a romantic relationship. There is nothing pleasant about finding out that your significant other (SO) is cheating. Not unless you’re cheating too and need a reason to justify your actions ( Bad reason, it’s still wrong). Even then, it can hurt knowing you’re not number one.  

cheating 4Bearing that in mind, what would you do if you discovered your friend’s SO cheating? Would you tell your friend or keep quiet about it? Many times in movies (non-Nigerian) I’ve seen that it is expected that you tell. I’ve seen similar comments on forums online where it is believed that a good friend would tell. I have also been told by some of my friends who are not Nigerian that they would like to know. However, as a Nigerian, I can not say that we have similar expectations. 

cheating five

I have never been in a position where I had to make the decision of telling a friend that the person they are/were involved with is/was cheating. But I have wondered about it based on stories I’ve heard. I honestly think it is important for a person to know if they’re being cheated on (at least for health reasons, if nothing else). I would want to know.  I just don’t know that I am willing to be the bearer of such news. It is said that what you don’t know can’t hurt you.  It can and it does.

So, I ask again.. What would you do if you find out your friend’s SO is cheating? What factor(s) would influence your decision or actions? If you’ve been or are in this situation, what did/will you do? 

22 thoughts on “Would You tell on a Cheater?”
  1. Nelo 25th June 2015 on 8:28 pm Reply

    Oh you bet your natural hair I would tell! If he/she was bad enough to cheat, I’ll be bad enough to tell! #NoMincingWords #NoPityParty #OutWithTheCheat

  2. Amos 18th June 2015 on 5:50 am Reply

    of course like your web site however you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very bothersome to inform the truth however I’ll definitely come back again.

    • Morolawun Akinsola
      Morolawun Akinsola 19th June 2015 on 11:50 pm Reply

      Thanks for the observation. It’s been noted 🙂

    • Sisi 8th July 2015 on 3:22 am Reply

      Hey, still searching for the spelling mistakes and can’t find them…..
      Are you using a Yoruba dictionary to spellcheck?
      By the way, there is a better way to give criticism and it is called constructive criticism….
      You should borrow that from the English man… They own the language but they don’t write words that make their communication come across to the reader as rude….
      Just thought to share
      Good job Morola, the sky is your starting point

  3. AgustinBAbolt 17th June 2015 on 2:32 pm Reply

    Amazing! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a totally
    different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Great choice of colors!

  4. bis 6th June 2015 on 10:29 pm Reply

    I think if the person is truly dear to you you would be obligated to tell him/ her what you saw. Do not draw any conclusions for the person (because sometimes what you think you saw may not be the case). But let him or her know and speak to his/her partner about it. If you do it in love, your friendship will remain intact no matter what happens. Look at it this way. Would you allow your own sister marry a cheat and not tell her the truth just because you don’t want her to be angry with you? True friendship sometimes means harsh truths. But in love.

  5. adewole 3rd June 2015 on 7:50 am Reply

    Now like Victoria had said, she wud confront the cheating party in the relationship 1st…I agree and I would give the cheating party enough time to repent…if he/she doesn’t, I would tell..cos the truth is, if your friend finds out his/her spouse was cheating and you, being their friend, is aware, you stand the risk of losing your friend….#justmythoughttho

  6. Choc 27th May 2015 on 10:14 pm Reply

    I would tell indirectly depending on how close I am to the friend because I would not want your best friend to continue with the wrong person. There are ways to inform people about things going on around them without saying ” I caught your boyfriend cheating “. However, never meddle in a relationship because it might bounce back.

  7. captain 26th May 2015 on 11:58 am Reply

    As much as you think you have an obligation to your friend to tell them, it’s NOT YOUR PLACE. At best you can confront the cheater and ask him/her to stop. But telling your friend is doing more harm than good. Worst of all, if they decide to forgive each other and move on, which often happens, you’ll forever be the friend that try to break them up. My 2cents

  8. keem keem 25th May 2015 on 12:08 am Reply

    The affairs of a relationship should stay within its confines.
    What is the business of an innocent by-stander?
    Being caught in the cheating web is already a difficult position; further complicate it? Hell No!
    I no see anything!

  9. enormoss 22nd May 2015 on 9:59 pm Reply

    I would try talk to the cheater instead Cos most when u try telling ur friend bout being cheated on, all hell breaks loose With her partner then just after the drama they would settle and have you put in the middle as the bad one who tried ruining their vibe. Try talk to the person cheating or stay mute. Trust me, never report.

  10. Victoria 22nd May 2015 on 10:59 am Reply

    I would so tell!! But obviously I would confront the person and actually know they were cheating before I said anything so if my friend is in denial then I’ll have proof.

    Usually, as a girl, I tend to be the one with ice cream and movies trying to soothe a broken heart but I never answer questions like ‘so what am I gonna do now?’ because if they get back together and I advised that they break up then I’m in trouble. So I stay away from whatever decisions they make, so I won’t say ‘oh you’re making the right decision or the wrong decision’, I say things like ‘I’ll support whatever decision you make its completely up to you’.

    I know this makes me sound like a s@#t stirrer but I’d rather have my friend than have a massive row over a douche bag and loose my friend. Because when it comes falling down they knows you wouldnt judge them.

  11. Lattyphah 20th May 2015 on 12:23 pm Reply

    hmmmnnn, at times its always gud to tel only if u knw on wat ground dere relationship is build on, so as to help your frend not to waste her precious time on things dat wont turn out d way shes wants, buh really i wont want to find masef in a position of telling her,lol. Love we say is a strong tin.

  12. ologe 20th May 2015 on 11:41 am Reply

    It’s really hard to tell cos I’ve not really found myself in such a tight corner, I live my life in such a way that I only see what u want me to see….even when it’s done at d back of my leg I just keep a straight face Lol. But if we r very close I just have to find a way around it buh it will never come out from my very own mouth.

  13. Mcnugar 19th May 2015 on 4:45 am Reply

    Sincerely as much as I wish not to have known…i did wanna know too. But it depends more on how much I take the SO…for me its a total disappointment to have my SO to cheat on me and it sure to affect the relationship and me as an individual. I feel cheating begims when ther is less regard for.the other.

  14. Sh2ayo 18th May 2015 on 6:45 pm Reply

    I would mind my business and tell my friend to watch out, then warn the cheater with a fake bluff of reporting to the partner…

    I have been as this before…
    when they settled.. I was in the middle

    • Pyaar 19th May 2015 on 9:03 pm Reply

      I agree with shayo a bit cuz at the end of the day in some situations u wud be put in the middle, I avnt been in that situation before but if we are very close I wud tell and I think Ild love to be told, ild be hurt but ild love to know.

  15. Maryann 17th May 2015 on 1:10 am Reply

    First of all I want to say terrific blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind.

    I was interested to know how you center
    yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I’ve had a
    hard time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out.

    I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10
    to 15 minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure
    out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips?

    my web blog :: garcinia cambogia free trial canada [Maryann]

    • Morolawun Akinsola
      Morolawun Akinsola 17th May 2015 on 9:07 am Reply

      Thank you so much Maryann 🙂 .

      It sometimes takes a while like you said. My first post took about 3 hours! I’d say once you have a topic, do some research on it and see what others have written about it and how they introduced it. Might give you an idea on how to start yours. The more you write, the better you’ll become at introducing your posts. I personally think of how I would discuss the matter with friends or others and try to write in the manner I would hold a conversation.

      As for clearing my head – I simply stop trying so hard to write and do something else like reading. Other times I just write what comes to mind and rearrange later as I see fit. I don’t try to get it perfect the first time (like that’s even possible 🙂 ) I only recently started blogging (10 days) so I’m not quite there yet myself.

      I hope this has been a bit helpful.

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