I have realised that I’m verbally at my worst when I’m commuting. In truth, a lot of things tend to get on my nerves in Lagos and driving is right up there on my list. I find that my father’s words to me as a child have come in very handy. He said, “when you’re driving, assume everyone else is a madman”. Of course, I took that to mean he was referring to every other driver but I’ve come to realise, as some of you may agree, that there are some pretty crazy pedestrians out there. Let’s not even get into motorcyclists and rickshaw drivers.
If you’ve ever been on a ‘danfo’ bus in Lagos, you have more likely than not, had a taste of sheer lunacy. It goes without saying that local taxi drivers aren’t exempt from displaying insanity. What irks me the most though is supposedly trained drivers whose ‘skills’ are no better. Yea! People like you and me. We’re all supposed to have taken driving lessons, huh? Balderdash! We all know that system doesn’t work here and it’s clearly a problem.
As mad as I get every time a ‘danfo’ driver stops to buy fuel without turning off his engine or one ‘keke napep’ (rickshaw) runs a red light while I’m in it, I still blame myself. I blame myself for putting my life in the hands of crazy people, for not speaking up even though I know idiots will be idiots and I’ll probably be insulted by driver and passengers alike. We’re often times our own worst enemy, humans.
I’ve put together 10 questions that I think every driver should answer or think about. Driving is serious business and should be treated accordingly. Let’s give every question a score of one; there are no half marks for 2 in 1 questions. It’s one or zero and the pass mark is 70%!
- Have you ever attempted to read the Nigeria Highway Code?😞
- Do you ever observe the set speed limits?
- Is this a hobby of yours?😒
- Do you text/call while driving?
- Do you overtake from the right lane?
- Do you refuse to use and or ignore car indicators and other signals?😳
- Do you ever give way to traffic on your left?
- Do you consider yourself a Hollywood stuntman when riding your oh-so-powerful bike?💪🚵
- Do you know what the following signs/symbols mean and attempt to observe/obey them?🚦
10. Do you use your seat belt and encourage others to do the same?
How did you do? Let me know your greatest pet peeves about driving in Lagos.